Today, I found out my Uncle's body was identified. I'm writing this one week before posting out of respect for my family, so I apologize if my words aren't well though out, or eloquent. I only just received the news.

Beginning at the age of seven, I used to pray every night that I would find out what happened to my uncle. Now I know, and I can't tell which is worse: not knowing or knowing. I've written about him before. He went missing in 1987. He was a drug addict. He was much more than that, of course. I don't feel like re-hashing the background info, so if you're curious/interested read my previous post about him.

For the past nine months, my father has been working with a detective from the Florida area, where my uncle had be residing before his disappearance. Just this past week, two police officers from the Madison Police Department showed up at my father's work to tell him that the detective in Florida had identified my uncle's body as Gregory Allan Greco--my father's only sibling. The results were conclusive--they paired my father and Nonno's DNA with the body, and there was a match. Receiving this information feels so heavy. I don't think any of us are surprised, but damn, it still hurts plenty.

Apparently, shorty after Greg's disappearance in 1987, he drowned. It was self-inflicted.

He was dead this whole time.

It kills me that Greg was right under their noses all along. It's good to have this closure, even though it doesn't make it any less difficult. I wish I was with my family right now. I wish I could hug my 92-year-old Nonno. I commend the detectives and police who were involved. My family has wanted to know for so long, and there were so many hurdles prior--we felt like we would never find any answers. We're lucky. There are many people who have had a loved one disappear, and they don't get any closure.

I didn't know Greg for very long, but I always felt connected to him. It's awful to know he was in so much pain. I hope he has been at peace all this time. And I hope my family can be at peace now.

Drugs are ridiculous. Don't use them. I'm even more annoyed now with those who say weed is "safe" and blah blah blah. Weed is not "safe" for all. It's still a drug. It still can fuck you up. This "but-it's-safe-for-everyone" discourse needs to stop. Fuck drugs. And if you're an addict, please, please do something about it. Talk to someone. You don't need to live the way you're living. We're all available to change and transform--we're all butterflies.

Greg has transformed into another world. Whenever I see a butterfly, I see his bright existence.

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