I know, I know. It sounds weird. It sounds like some hippy-dippy type of shit (I'm into that type of shit, though, let's be real), but I am about to embark on a SOUL cleanse, ya'll! Join me? Ok, I'll tell you more about it first :)
Cara over at Balance In The 'Burbs, wrote about this recently (which is how I stumbled upon it. Here's what it is in a nutshell: eliminating what isn't needed in your life, and illuminating what is.
To start, make a list of everything that is working for you and everything that is working against you (or just plain not working). Then, choose to eliminate one item per week from the "Things Not Working" list. When writing your lists, make sure to be realistic of what you can eliminate. For example, maybe you hate your job, but it's probably not feasible for you to up and quit immediately, but you can begin searching for a new one. Ok, let's do this! Here are my lists:
- yoga wherever whenever
- bedroom dancing
- friend hangouts
- GF stuff (except when it's hella stressful--which sometimes feels like it's ALL OF THE FUCKING TIME)
Things Not Working:
- lack of sleep
- health anxiety
- trying to control outcomes
So, I will be attempting to work on the first item (lack of sleep) this week. I'm going to break 'em all down for you, in terms of "Problem" and "Solution", much like Cara did on her blog.
Problem: Lack of sleep
Solution: Easy. Go to fucking bed at a decent hour. I typically go to sleep around midnight, and need to be up by 7:15am. Maybe this is fine for some people, but this bitch here needs more sleep. Also, taking into account the fact that it sometimes takes me 1 hour to 2 hours to fall asleep. My goal is to bed in bed by 10pm on weeknights. CAN I DO IT THO? I'll report back.
Problem: Health anxiety
Solution: God. This is going to be fucking difficult. I'm not even quite sure how I'll do this. So, here's the deal... I have MAJOR anxiety (diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder--I take Zoloft, etc). Primarily, my anxiety manifests itself as physical symptoms. I freak out about getting ill, I freak out when I am ill, I freak out about getting ill again--it's an exhausting, vicious cycle. I've talked to my therapist so goddamn much about this, and we've both come to the conclusion that me talking about my anxieties does not always help. In fact, it sometimes is detrimental. Because it then becomes an obsession. I spend too much time perseverating, which just makes the symptoms feel worse, etc. My goal for this is to talk less about it (or not talk at all about it), and find things to distract myself.
Problem: Trying to control outcomes
Solution: I am such the stereotypical anxious person. Ugh. For this one, any time I feel the need/desire/etc to "control" something, I'm going to immediately direct my attention elsewhere. Maybe meditate. Maybe move my body (yoga, dance, walking, etc).
That's it for now. Anyone want to embark on this soul "cleanse" with me? What isn't working for you in your life right now?