I live my life pretty soberly--no drinking, no drugging, etc. It has been difficult at times explaining this to people, or hanging out with people who do take part in this behavior. Tellings someone, "I don't drink because I was raped by an ex who used alcohol as a way to weaken my defenses" isn't always something I feel I can say (if ever). My relationship to alcohol has always been fairly negative. I grew up with my mom being a drug and alcohol counselor, so I would often hear horrendous stories. My mother stopped drinking quite some time ago, when she became a Buddhist. My dad rarely drinks, as he says he's "too sensitive" for it. Therefore, alcohol was never really discussed as a "positive" thing in my upbringing. My brother is probably the only one, out of the four of us, who drinks regularly. Sometimes, I feel like I don't know if I'm being over sensitive to someone's drug use, or not. I often act judgmental--something I don't want to be--when it comes to others and their use of substances. I mean, it's not like I've always lived a sober life--it's something that has happened within the last three years. It's still really difficult to find sober people my age to hang out with. The thing to do on a Saturday night is to go out to a bar/club and drink--finding people who don't want to do that is far too difficult than it should be.
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