I haven't written in a while, and this post isn't going to be about my cheating, lying ex-boyfriend. I don't have the desire nor the mental capacity to re-hash that shit now or ever. This post is about "oversharing."
Since finding out this new knowledge about my ex, I have talked... A LOT about it. Online, offline, to myself, to my journal, to you, dear reader. I believe in honesty, and I believe in what the goddess poet, Nayyirah Waheed says, "it is being honest about my pain that makes me invincible."
What is 'oversharing' and who decides this? You know there's a sexism component to this, too, right?
The dictionary definition is: "to disclose too much (personal information) or too many (details) about oneself." The example used is, "She overshared about her new boyfriend today, and we were both embarrassed." WTF. Way to gender this bullshit, dictionary!
I have been told I "overshare" when, to me, I am just being honest and open about my life. I refuse to be told what I can and can't talk about (when it comes to my own personal history and life). I call those shots. I make those rules. I decide what I want to share and what I don't. If it makes YOU uncomfortable, then that's on you, not me.
Women are constantly told to not share things. Practically everything that comes out of our mouths is deemed "inappropriate."
There is still so much we're not supposed to talk about: mental illness, sexuality, even political leanings. Rarely, do I hear people say "HE overshared." It is always used towards women. I'm sick of it.
A friend posted this great Anne Lamott quote that made me think about all of this too: "You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should've behaved better."
And so, yes, I will continue to "overshare" and say that I just found out my ex-boyfriend had been cheating on me. You should have behaved better, boy :)