I think I have a fainting/almost fainting relationship with heat and humidity. I realize also that my body just reacts this way when I'm sick, or when I'm around needles.

Example A: The first time I ever fainted was in preschool. I remember the moment vividly. We were all crowded around this toy train set. I was standing against the wall. It was a super humid day. The heat was intense and I remember feeling ethereal. I slumped down against the wall, and was out. The next thing I remember is opening my eyes, and finding myself in the preschool teacher's arms. I remember feeling pretty okay afterwards--not even scared--probably because none of the adults around me acted scared. I miss being so resilient.

Example B: I believe the next time I fainted I was seven. It was directly after I got my ears pierced. No surprise there.

Example C: I fainted again when I got my first tattoo. I was twenty. I was out for a while--my mom was worried, but she knew I would come back. And I did.

Example D: The last time that I fainted was short and sweet. Again, I felt overheated. I had been drinking alcohol. Someone may have drugged me. I immediately felt like passing out. Luckily, my best friend was with me. She took me outside and apparently, while sitting on the stoop of this bar, I passed out for a good thirty seconds. But then I came back.

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I've had other "almost fainting" moments, but whatever. Whenever I tell people, they always freak out. They make me more nervous about it than I already am. People will say, "Oh my god, that sounds so scary! I've never fainted!" Yeah, well, it is scary. It's fucking terrifying. However, it's also not that big of a deal. I don't have a "condition." It's just how my body reacts to certain things. I'm fine.

Though, sometimes I can't help but feed into other people's worries, and wonder, will I wake up next time?

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