I'm really sick of these goddamn "rules" daters are supposed to abide by; mainly this one: women aren't supposed to call/text a guy until he calls/texts you first. I've talked to friends and family about these "rules," and surprisingly, all seem to be on the same page with "waiting." Not to sound like Veruca Salt, but what if I know what I want and I want it now? Do I just stifle those feelings and play the game? It hardly feels like I'm being true to myself when I do that. Also, I'm fucking impatient. If a guy gets undone by my texting him to hang out, then he's probably not the guy for me. I'm loud, I'm brash, I'm a no-nonsense woman. This has scared many men off in the past, but do I give a shit? No, because their "fleeing" proved they couldn't handle me.
Obviously, we all have baggage we bring to dating, and I certainly have my share. My most profound baggage? Probably my fear of abandonment. When I lost my virginity, the guy literally pulled one of those moves you only see in teen movies: he left immediately afterwards. He had known I was a virgin, and freaked out after "de-virginizing" me. I attempted to call/text him, of course, but he was absent. Eventually, he said to me: "Lachrista, you're just too much."
For years, I felt bad about myself. I felt that I needed to change. Luckily, I realized I wasn't the problem--it was the guy. What he was really saying was he couldn't handle me. He was too immature and too afraid to handle me. I eventually learned that expecting a call/text from a guy after you've slept with him wasn't "too much" to ask for. You need to be mature to be intimate with someone, and if you're not mature, well, you shouldn't be fucking.
I wish I felt like I could text/call guys I like whenever I want to. I wish I didn't overanalyze this dating bullshit when it's all so stupid anyways. It does tend to feel better when dudes I like text/call me first. It shows me that they are thinking about me. But maybe I just think this because it's what society wants women to believe. Society wants women to be demure and delicate and cute. Society never wants women to make the first move. God forbid it scares away the menfolk! I'm sick of denying myself certain things because it'll "scare" men.
Men of 2012, watch out!