Let's talk about friendships: ADULT friendships. 

As a child, I used to pray for friends. I didn't have them, and I always wanted them. Then, in 7th grade, like magic--my prayers seemed answered. I suddenly had three best friends--a girl gang. Then, as quickly as it began, it ended in 10th grade after they spread rumors about me, and ostracized me from sitting with them in the school cafeteria. This experience solidified that I can only depend on my family--my parents and my older brother. 

I have some really amazing friends--but most of them live elsewhere. The friends I have in town I rarely see... since they're all in relationships. I'm not. Obviously. 

What is it about romantic relationships that seems to make friendships go by the wayside? I've never understood this, because it's never been my M.O. 

I know that dynamics change in relationships, and friendships wax and wane, too, but why does it seem like so many people neglect their friendships when they're in a relationship? Does your significant other always come first? Why? How did you decide? Is that something that just happens over time? I'm not into it. 

I'm always reminded of that little curly-haired girl I once was--praying for friends. So, when I do have friends, I treat them like gold, and then always find myself upset because I don't feel this treatment reciprocated. I'm not loyal, because I expect others to be; I'm loyal, because it's the only way I know how to be. I love hard. I love forever. I'm probably loyal to a fault. 

But I digress...

I, at the almost-age of 30, find myself, yet again, praying for friendships; praying for hangouts with people who want to hang out with me (and are able to) weekly. Friendship needs consistency, and I'm not really getting that from the people who do live in my city. 

I'm not trying to shame anyone. I'm not being passive-aggressive. I understand that adult friendships are much different (and much more difficult to manage) than childhood ones. People have a lot going on. But... your friendship with me is a muscle--and if it's not being used consistently, then that muscle will disappear. 

In the meantime, I'll just continue hanging out with my parents. I'm damn fortunate to have two loving parents who have always supported me. They're also pretty cool people--and we have a lot in common :)

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